Warrior of the Month: August 2024 Allison Thomas
“I will never feel like I did prior to chemo. After surgery, I will never feel like I did prior to surgery. You know, these are huge things that I have to go through, but it's finding that new normalcy, that new common ground, that new confidence. That's what I yearn for. And I have to… because I have two little girls that keep looking at me like, ‘What are we supposed to do now, mom?’ If I don't have the answers, then what am I supposed to tell them?”
Allison Thomas, a 34-year-old single mother of two from Saraland, Alabama, was diagnosed in October 2023 with stage III triple negative invasive ductal carcinoma of her left breast. She has completed nine months of chemotherapy and is undergoing a double mastectomy on July 30, 2024.
This diagnosis came as a shocking revelation just months after her mother passed away from complications of lung cancer.
“My mom got sick in 2019. When she was diagnosed with cancer, I just pretty much put everything on hold. So, I quit my job to take care of her. When she passed in 2023, it was rough. I mean the cancer isn't ultimately what killed her. It attributed to the cause. But then, that's when it wasn't but a couple of months later, I found my own lump and started going through my cancer journey.”
While still freshly grieving the loss of her mother, Allison discovered a lump on her left breast. She googled how to give herself a breast exam to ensure that what she was feeling she was feeling correctly.
Because of this discovery, Allison promptly made an appointment with her OBGYN and was sent to undergo a mammogram. Because Allison is not 40 years old, she found herself in a common predicament many women face throughout the nation. The mammogram and biopsy were not covered by insurance. Due to this, she rescheduled the procedures. Fortunately, her surgical oncologist provided her with information regarding a program that would pay for the mammogram and biopsy. Within the next two weeks, she was able to have the mammogram and biopsy.
“I'm such a procrastinator, and I think my mom's death put a lot of things in perspective for me. So, had I not already just lost her, I don't know if I would have gone to the doctor. Thank God I did because at that point I was already stage three.”
From that moment, Allison faced another reality no parent imagines they would have to face… having to tell her girls.
“They related everything cancer-wise with my mom. To a child, there’s no differentiating what this person goes through with cancer and what another goes through with cancer. It was hard at first to try and understand the process and the cancer myself, then having to relate it in children’s terms. It was hard enough being a 30-year-old child and your mom telling you that she had cancer. Then at 10 years old, I know it had to have been difficult for them, so I’ve tried to make life as easy and as normal as I possibly can.”
Once she received her diagnosis, Allison began chemotherapy. What was initially supposed to be six months became nine months of chemotherapy treatment due to her platelets dropping.
“I prayed, and I asked God just to send me a sign that I was doing the right thing because at that point I had been weak for three or four weeks. I was seeing the toll that it took on my kids. I was so worried because I just knew I had months and months of this to go. So, I prayed, and I just asked Him to please show me that I was doing the right thing.”
“The next time I went in for chemo, my oncologist asked me if I felt the tumor. I had thought about it, and I was like, ‘Well, no, I haven't. You know, I haven't even checked it.’ I couldn't feel it anymore. I used to be able to just graze on top of my breast, and it was like a lump of charcoal inside of my breast, a pure rock. When I went to feel it, I couldn't. I couldn't even find it, let alone feel it. That was my confirmation. I didn't even have a chance to really grieve my mother's death because I was about to grieve the death of my old life. So, you know, I can't even express how grateful I am to have made it through nine months of chemo already.”
As she began her cancer journey, Allison underwent genetic testing. She tested positive for BRCA1, which is what contributed to her breast cancer diagnosis and requires her to get preventative testing each year for various cancers. Before she received her diagnosis, she was not aware of the role genetics played in cancer risks. Her father died of pancreatic cancer when she was only ten years old, and her mother contracted lung cancer. Other than that, the only person in her family who had received a breast cancer diagnosis was her mother’s great-aunt.
Allison is unsure which of her parents were positive for BRCA1. Since her results came back, both of Allison’s sisters have tested negative.
“Thankfully now, I do know I am positive for BRCA1. So that opens the door for my two girls who at 18 will have to be tested to see if they have the positive BRCA1 gene. Because then I don't have to fight or pay out of pocket for them to be screened, and they will need to be. It only takes one parent, and I don't know which of my parents had it. All I know is that I have it now, and I have two kids I have to think about.”
Allison was told she has a 60-80% chance of developing ovarian cancer within the next six years, so she will also have to undergo a hysterectomy. This was something that took her even more by surprise.
“I’ve wanted to be a mom since I was a child, and I have two beautiful kids. I never thought I'd have any more kids, but it wasn't until that option was taken from me that I got emotional about it. But I would do anything to raise my girls, and that's the way I explain it to them.”
Throughout the last year, Allison has faced losing her mother, undergoing chemotherapy, learning she is positive for the BRCA1 gene mutation, and becoming a single mother.
“It's such a strong emotional pull. I have just been overwhelmed with so much. I did not expect to have to fight for my life while going through a divorce. I think the cancer just kind of sculpted me whether I wanted it to or not because it made me buck up. It made me keep going.”
On July 30, Allison will undergo a double mastectomy. This was a decision that did not come lightly.
“I know the physical changes that I'm about to go through with surgery are going to be a little bit harder to accept than just being bald or a little chunky. I have to prepare to love myself, so in return, my children can see that no matter if you have a single mastectomy, a double lumpectomy, or if you go flat or choose implants, all of it is so beautiful because they are war wounds from the fight to save your life.”
“I want to be as close to what they see in the mirror when they see me because that is what they are remembering. They’re mirroring their womanhood a lot by seeing what their mom does and how their mom dresses and how she is accepting of her body. So, I'm trying to be as lenient with myself as I can, but I want to love my body. I want to love what I see in the mirror, you know?”
After her surgery, Allison will have a four to six-week recovery, then she will have roughly a month’s worth of radiation. After radiation, she will have to wait six months until she can be cleared to undergo reconstruction. Following reconstruction and its recovery, she will then undergo her hysterectomy.
Regardless of the trials she has faced during her battle, she has continued to show up for her girls even on the hard days.
“My girls seen me go through chemo while still managing to take my youngest to cheer practice, take my oldest to her friends’ houses, make sure that they have all their stuff for school, and show up the day after I get chemo because both of my kids made the honor roll. It was not only monumental for them… It was monumental for me because I wanted to show myself that I could do it. I can't do certain things physically still, but to show them that even though mom was going through chemo and even though mama is weak because I am still working… I'm still doing you know everything that I was doing prior. It's just on a smaller level because mama just doesn't have the energy, but I'm always the one they can look out in the crowd and see.”
This past week, Allison has been able to accomplish something she has not been able to do in months due to the side effects of chemotherapy.
“Thursday was the first time that I've been able to stand there, comb my youngest’s hair, and still have enough energy to part it and braid it since I started chemo. It's so small, but it's something that I have done her entire nine years of life, and I haven't been able to do it for nine months. It was so rewarding to stand there and be able to do that, and I know she appreciated it.”
“But I appreciated it as well because it was almost like I felt like I wasn't enough as a mom. I wasn't doing enough. I wasn't capable of enough throughout this process because I was weak and I needed rest. Those aren't things that most people would shame themselves with, but just not being able to do all of what I used to was such an ego blow for me when I got sick.”
Along with feeling as if she was not doing enough for her daughters, Allison also stated that it has been a hurdle learning to accept the help she has been offered.
“Nobody talks about in a cancer journey when you're usually the person that people call on, how hard it is to not only ask for the help but then accept the help when it's offered. It's a really big mental struggle. I've had to be humble and take the help as it's been given and allow my support system to support me.”
Throughout her healing journey, Allison has received support from her friends and family, but she also found support from fellow warriors and survivors who participated in the 2023 Bras Across the CAUSEway 5K & Fun Run.
“When I got my diagnosis and I started getting all of the information on local outreach for the breast cancer community, Bras Across the CAUSEway was one of the main ones that I recognized the name of. I was diagnosed on October 2nd. So, I was very happy that I was able to register myself, and I saw that it was family-friendly. It wasn't just for the fighters or the survivors. It was a community of companies, people, and resources. That was the first thing that me and my girls did after my diagnosis.”
“I was able to show my girls how many women were in this community who have gone through the same things that I have gone through or similar, so it was comforting to them that I never positioned it like a death sentence to them. This was just going to be a healing journey that I had to go through, but that just solidified that point to them by being able to see the camaraderie that you guys have. You see how many people wear that survivor ribbon with pride. I'll be there one day. But this last year I had a fighter because I was recently diagnosed.”
Allison stated she was able to ask other warriors and survivors the questions she could not ask her oncologist.
“I needed that community that you guys provide to be able to put some of my worries at rest because I could ask those hard questions to those ladies. Without your organization, I wouldn't even have had the chance to be in the same vicinity as they were. It meant so much to me that somebody would organize a run like this, not only, just for the awareness of it, but to be able to support the women going through it. Thank you. That meant so much more to me being able to do that with my girls.”
“At the end of the day, cancer doesn't care. You know, cancer doesn't care that my baby's about to have a birthday. Cancer doesn't care that school is about to start. Cancer doesn't care when I was too exhausted to go to work and wasn't going to get a paycheck for that week. Having you guys who do care has made it so much easier to focus on feeling better, resting and knowing my physical limits because without your guys' financial support, I mean, I would have probably overdone it within the next couple of weeks, just trying to make sure that everything was covered. It takes such a burden off of my shoulders. And as far as that, you guys are just doing God's work, whether it be being able to bless someone like me financially, or whether it be bringing all of those organizations together to support somebody like me in their diagnosis. I mean, it's unmatched what you guys are able to do.”
Through it all, Allison has fought, and she continues to fight daily. Her faith has remained strong, and she is proving to her daughters and herself that she is a WARRIOR.
“This cancer can take my hair. This cancer can take my breasts, take my ovaries and my uterus and all of my female reproductive system. But as long as I have my life, then, it hasn't taken everything from me. If all that I have left at the end of the day is the breath in me and the will to keep moving, then that's great. God has already claimed the victory for me. I know I'm going to make it to the finish line. Is it going to be easy? No, but He's already promised me that I'm not going anywhere. I'm not going to leave my girls. That is the deepest desire of my heart is to be able to be their mom and raise them and that is what He is going to give me.”
